On Being "Smarter"

I don't know why, but I've always been smarter. It sounds arrogant when I say, write, or think it, but it is true. It isn't something I can control. It's just a fact. I'm not a genius by any means, but I'm pretty quick. I don't know when I noticed it, but I figure that it has always been that way

In Kindergarten and first grade, no one really made attention to who was smart and who was a bit slower. As we got older, it became clear. In first grade, I remember learning how to add double digits first in my class, and learning multiplication by the "doubles" (4+4, 6+6) posted on the wall. I worked out that if 4+4 was the same as 4x2. After that, I figured out that 4+4+4+4 was the same as 8+8, so that meant that 4x4 was 16. I don't know why, I didn't share my independent learning with any one else. In second grade, I used to complain about the homework my teacher gave. Mrs. B gave more than any other teacher in the 2nd grade, but I don't think I hated homework because it was homework. I hated it because it was a repeat of what I had learned that day. Why should I waste time on what I already knew?

I don't remember being too far ahead or bored throughout the rest of my time at Caywood Elementary. I was always in the "smart classes" and I never made a B, but nothing super impressive. Once I started my time at LMS though, even I knew I was smarter. School frustrated me, because of my classmates. My middle school was especially bad about not sorting out our classes.according to our skill level. It drove me insane to hear the same questions asked by every other student during math, science, and English. In 8th grade, I was given the chance to take Algebra I, a freshmen course, online for credit. Hal. le. lu. jah. Finally, something that challenged me a bit. It was a lot of work, and I hated it a lot of times, but it was better than sitting through a painful Music class, or listening to the kid in the front row ask the same question about polynomials again and again.

It didn't last long though, and the high school guidance counselor persuaded a few of us that we would be better of not completing the course with our EOC. So a couple of us didn't, myself included. My Algebra I this past year was painful. I knew all but a few lessons worth of what the teacher was teaching. I will admit that I learned some neat tricks with my calculator, but I spent most of the class trying to find more effective ways to work the problems and refraining from yelling at the students who just didn't get it.

It sounds awful, I know. I understand that I'm quicker than some people at grasping new concepts, and they might need more time. My patience and understanding disappear in the classroom. I can't handle it when people don't understand at my rate a lot of the times.

Being smarter isn't as easy as it sounds, I assure you. I may not stress over the work, but I do struggle in the classroom. Even in honours, I have to struggle to be patient with my classmates. I have to struggle not to get angry at those who resent me. In Biology, I had friends who would make comments like "I bet you're doing fine in here." or "It's not like you're going to struggle with it." and "It's not like you're going to get extra work."

I'm quick, okay? I don't automatically know everything, I have to learn, but it doesn't take as long. I don't mean to make others feel stupid when I'm impatient. I don't mean to snap. I'm just frustrated that I can't keep moving.